Sologamy, or self-marriage
Sologamy, or self-marriage, is a symbolic ceremony where you commit to maintaining a meaningful, deep, and loving relationship with yourself.
Sologamy is a contemporary practice that has sparked and continues to spark many discussions and reflections on the nature of love and self-acceptance. In a world where the traditional concept of marriage is constantly evolving, sologamy represents an act of celebrating the individual and self-love.
Today, I married myself.
Yes, indeed, today, in the name of love and self-love, I have pledged eternal fidelity to myself; I have promised never to leave myself alone; I have vowed to support myself in joy and sorrow, in wealth and poverty, in health and sickness. Every day of my life.
And I did it because before deeply loving another person, one must love yourself.
Where did this practice, which is increasingly talked about, originate?
A brief historical note: Japan and India
In Japan, marrying yourself has been a practice for decades and originates from an introspective philosophy that proclaims the importance of self-care and inner well-being as a foundation of life. It is primarily women who cultivate this practice, to the extent that some wedding planning agencies and consultants have emerged offering packages for self-weddings, or sologamy.
In India, there is also a notable case of sologamy when Kshama Bindu, a twenty-four-year-old, decided to break away from all traditional customs regarding marriage, whether it be a love ceremony or arranged marriage, to marry herself and pledge eternal love according to the Hindu traditions of her country.
Sologamy in the Western World
In some famous TV series, such as Sex and the City or Glee, the idea of self-marriage was already present in the early 2000s, perhaps more as a provocation and a bold statement of claiming one’s freedom and autonomy than as a real practice. However, in 2015, in Brighton, Sophie Tanner, a single British woman determined to manifest her authenticity and life coherence, decided to marry herself and celebrate her fairy-tale wedding, thus laying the first stone of a temple that is growing steadily but relentlessly.
And in Italy?
The first case of sologamy in Italy was recorded two years later, on September 9, 2017, when Laura Mesi, a thirty-eight-year-old fitness instructor, decided she no longer wanted to wait for Prince Charming and took matters into her own hands. Laura decided to marry herself and make the most important promise of all: to love herself and be faithful to herself every day of her life, because, as the words she chose as an inspirational message on the favors she gave to her guests say: ‘Loving yourself is the beginning of a love story that will last a lifetime.’
But what is the true value of this practice, and what does it mean to marry yourself?
Sologamy: self-acceptance
Sologamy emphasizes the need to learn to love yourself unconditionally. Many of us grow up with insecurities and self-doubt, driven by social pressure and the expectations of others. Marrying yourself is an act of self-acceptance, a commitment to recognizing your own worth and treating yourself with the same love and kindness you would reserve for a romantic partner.
Autonomy and emotional independence
Sologamy is often seen as a sign of emotional independence. Too often, we base our happiness and sense of fulfillment on relationships with others, forgetting that the most important relationship we have is with ourselves. Self-marriage implies a commitment to seek happiness within yourself and not depend on a partner to feel complete.
Celebration of individuality
Sologamy celebrates individuality. Each person is unique, with their own dreams, desires, and aspirations. Self-marriage is a way to honor this uniqueness and affirm that we are worthy of love and respect, regardless of societal or others’ expectations.
Sologamy as personal growth
Sologamy can be viewed as a constant commitment to personal growth. It is an opportunity to reflect on who we are, what we want from life, and how we can become the best version of ourselves. This practice promotes self-awareness and self-improvement.
Masters of our own happiness
Sologamy means becoming masters of our own happiness. It’s not about rejecting the concept of romantic relationships or isolating yourself from the world, but about asserting that happiness should not depend on anyone other than ourselves. It’s a commitment to seek emotional well-being regardless of external circumstances.
A declaration of intent
Sologamy is also a declaration of intentions. It is a public and personal commitment to live a life based on love, self-acceptance, and self-respect. This declaration can be a source of inspiration for others and can challenge societal expectations related to marriage.
A unique and extraordinary opportunity
Sologamy represents a unique opportunity to celebrate the greatest love of all: self-love. It is an act of self-acceptance, emotional independence, and a celebration of individuality. This practice offers the opportunity for personal growth, becoming masters of our own happiness, and making a statement about the life we want to lead. Sologamy may not be for everyone, but it teaches us a valuable lesson: that our relationship with ourselves is the foundation upon which we build all other relationships in our lives.
Sologamy: how to celebrate it with a fairy-tale ceremony
Are you also thinking that marrying yourself could be the best way to have someone who genuinely cares about your well-being and happiness by your side, someone who will never betray you?
Do you want to celebrate this moment with a ceremony that speaks of you, your story, and the promises you want to dedicate to yourself?
Write to me and let’s talk about Sologamy!
Write me a WhatsApp message and book your free video call: together we will find the right words and gestures for your fairy-tale self-marriage ceremony.
Together, we will make this extraordinary moment in your life even more unforgettable.
